Well, I am still struggling with the day-to-day of our world without our little girl....the weather is just awesome, the boys are playing outside with their light swords (as they replay scenes from Star Wars) and I sit on the front porch just thinking, pondering, missing and crying...
On our "normal" day, Avery would be laying down for a nap right now. So I sit and wait to hear...."MA----MAMA!!" That is how she always yelled for me when she was done with her nap.....but no MA today!!
I leave the door open to her room now, and yesterday I went in and opened her window so it wouldn't start smelling stale in there...but then I just stood there...I didn't want to leave. Her toys haven't moved in months, her blankets are still folded perfect and everything is covered with a light coating of dust....even though I know she is having the time of her life and wouldn't come back here if she could....I still can't fathom what eternity is like, I want just a glimpse, I can't wait to be there.
I was helping the boys brush their teeth last night and we always do the ABC's while they are brushing but I could barley get through the song...I could just picture Avery standing on her stool brushing as hard as she could in her little princess PJ's moving her hips back and forth as I sang...
Of course the pain will always be with me, I know it will lessen over time..and I know God will continue to comfort me during this time....and I know, now more than ever before, when this life brings us RAIN...we still praise Him in the storm.
Praise God in this storm, I know He is enjoying her as much as we did here on earth!!
Avery, I can't wait to see you!!
Love, mom
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12 comments:
Jeanie -
My heart aches for you as I read your words. I wish I could carry some of your pain away. With time God will lessen the burden. Stay strong, your family needs you.
Love Jill
Oh, sweetie, you are so right that we have no idea what eternity must be like and I, too, would love just a reassuring taste!! Praying for you always!
Precious Father,
Please wrap Jeanie in Your arms and whisper to her of her Heavenly home. Give her a glimpse of the place Avery has gone to be with you, where you are. Touch the pain and make it bearable, wash away any doubt of your perfect sovereignty. Bring beauty from this "rain" as only You can. Amen.
Oh,girl, you weighed heavy on my heart today and now I know why. I lifted you in prayer at that time, if only we all could carry more of your pain. Yes, we need to praise him in the storm! You are amazing, yes, you will see your sweet Avery in eternity!!!
love you
Jeanie-
Not many of us know what you are going through and NONE of us would wish to go through what you have and are daily going through - yet know that we so wish that we could take some of that pain away, at the same time knowing that only God will daily help to ease the pain, loneliness and missing piece that Avery has left in your lives!!
We pray for God's protection and peace for you guys and love you all so much!!
We are all certainly of One Spirit. Yesterday on our walk I thought of your family too Jeanie and lifted you up; now I know why. We love you Jeanie!
Jeanie~ You are in our thoughts and prayers daily and I know that you are exteriencing God's love but our human side is to be sorrowful. However, we don't grieve as the non Christian because we have the hope and assurance of knowing that Avery is with Jesus and that we too shall see her again. Keep looking UP...
Love, Barb & Steve
My heart is heavy as I read you blog today. I wish for you to find peace in these hard times. Please know you are always in our thoughts and prayers, Kim and Reaghan
Jeanie,
For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your good and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Jeremiah 29:11.
Thank you for sharing your pain with all of us, I know everyone would love to take a little bit of it a way to make things easier on you. Thankfully we have hope in the Lord, and know that one day you will be reunited with sweet little Avery! Blessed be the Lord.
Love,
Kristi
You have blessed so many lives in ways you can't even imagine just by sharing this journey. Thank you for sharing every struggle along the way and for allowing the rain to make you even stronger. You are precious; an inspiration. Always in my prayers. Love you! JoDee
We think of you often. Our hearts ache for what you are going through. I know she is so happy right now, it just still hurts I bet. Lifting you up in prayer more than ever.
My heart aches for you Jeanie. I'm asking God to give you comfort and the ability to receive it.
Cindy Humpleby
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