More updates to come...

I know I haven't posted in a long time....I promise to have a lot more updates in the near future, but my hands have been kind of full these past few weeks and we are still trying to establish a routine with Tanner added to our mix!!

Many people have wondered how we are doing since the birth of Tanner?

Have emotions resurfaced about Avery, and is it hard having a little one around.....

Before I address the above questions, I have to say we have been in good company every step of this new journey and without our faith in God and our amazing support from our family and friends, we wouldn't be where we are now.

I must say from a mom's perspective, the hole in my heart will remain until I am reunited with my daughter again..but Rob and I both look at Tanner as his own individual person,

this little blessing created by God - for us!!

My heart aches the same over the loss of our daughter...no more with Tanner here and really no less...but grief comes and goes all of the time. Maybe it is the sleep deprivation, the many trips to the hospital to continue checking Tanner's bili, or seeing one of our children begin to show some signs of losing his sister...grief can be a hard thing....I have also learned that grief really wears on people emotionally...just when you think you are getting things back in line, something else comes up and WHAM hits you right where it hurts!!

My personality tends to go into "shut down" mode when I get overwhelmed with emotions, daily tasks and just life in general, but again I thank each of you for the continued prayer and support...and for putting up with me!!

One last thing, I have changed my playlist to one song again, (I know many of you don't like it when I do this) but I love this song by MercyMe, it is called "Finally Home"...

If I could change the words, I would and this is what I would say....

"Finally Home"
I'm gonna wrap my arms around Avery and tell her that I've missed her

and tell her all about the mom that I became and hope that it pleased her

there's so much I want to say there's so much I want you to know

when I finally make it home when I finally make it home

then I'll gaze upon the throne of the King frozen in my steps

and all the questions that is wore I would ask words just won't come yet

so amazed at what I've seen so much more than this old mind can hold

and the sweetest sound my ears have yet to hear voices on angels

The nursery

Here is my nursery...for all of you that don't know the story behind the nursery. It got completely designed by a good friend of mine, Lisa. I picked out my favorite boy and girl colors (since we never know what we are having) and I bought the bedding and then she does EVERYTHING else. And that means she is at the hospital waiting to find out BOY or GIRL and by the time I get home from the hospital, a few days later, my nursery is COMPLETE!! It is one of my most favorite gifts of all. The pictures don't do Tanner's nursery justice..if you want to see it in person come on out!! Thank you Lisa for always decorating the nursery for us...it is so very special to me!! Avery's room left me speechless and Tanner's room was more than I could ask for...thanks again for everything!!

Labor and delivery

My labor and delivery was fairly uneventful.....but one of my favorite parts of my labor and delivery is my nurse. Rosemary has been my labor and delivery nurse for ALL of my children. She was with me (and we didn't know who she was) when I delivered Tate, (and I about fell off the bed) when she said, "WOW - 9 pounds 8 oz...pretty good size for your first one ahh Jeanie?"

Soon after that we became friends, and have remained friends over the years. Ever since then I tell Rob I won't go to the hospital if she isn't there....she has been by my side through many big events in my life, and I love her dearly. We don't talk on the phone a lot, we don't see each other a lot either but she has been in our lives at such amazing times....thank you again Rosemary for everything you do, I love having you by my side, even if you are screaming at me to PPPUUUUSSSHHH!!

Another night at the hospital...

Well, we are back in the hospital again - hopefully just for 24 hours!! I had to bring Tanner back to the hospital today to get his bilirubin tested and his tested at 17.9 and they didn't want it going over 18.4 so we got admitted.
As you can see from the pictures he is getting a "sun tan" under some heat lamps for 24 hours and then they will test it again...hopefully levels will be back down and we will get released.
The one nurse said it is just like he is laying at the beach getting some sun!! Don't you just love those little sunglasses?

Tanner Ray Kochan!!

Tanner Ray Kochan arrived today, March 6th, 2009 at 4:39 a.m.
He weighed in at 8lbs, 1/2oz and was 21 1/2 inches long!!

I was having contractions on and off all day but then decided that I didn't want to try to sleep so around 11pm we decided to head to the hospital. they broke my water at about 12:15 and then I got an epidural and pitocin and started pushing at around 4:20 and he was born at 4:39 a.m...

Baby Update ...

IT'S A BOY!!!!

Mom and baby are doing great!

More details and pictures to come soon!!

Another BABY Update!!

I had another doctors appointment today and all is well. I am 3 - 4 cm dilated and obviously moving in the right direction. The baby is head down and I am ready to go. This picture was taken last night and anyone who has seen me recently has said that I look different and that the baby has dropped.....any day now...any day!!

My doctor told me if I haven't gone by next Saturday the 14th, she would like to induce me that day....but she had me cancel all of my appointments next week and said she would probably see me in the hospital within the next few days.

Spring Clean Year Round

Travis was able to come back for a quick trip and hang out...I had a small gathering for her so she could instruct all of us how to get our spring cleaning year round boxes ready!!
Here is the link if you are interested in one.
http://www.springcleanyearround.blogspot.com/

We had a great time, I know Travis wants to meet Kochan #4 - so I am hoping I will have this baby before she takes off....

Tate lost his first tooth

Tate lost his 1st tooth on his 6th birthday!! WOW - where has the time gone!?!?!

Where has the last six years gone?!?!

1st Birthday

2nd Birthday

3rd Birthday

4th Birthday

5th Birthday

Tate is 6 years old today(you can see his 6th Brithday pictures on an earlier post)...and I was thinking this morning, "Where has the last 6 years gone??" Tate is the typical "first born" - very laid back, easy going....happy-go-lucky!! Tate brings a dimension to our family that is calm, cool and collected. He is a lot like his dad!! He is also a great helper around the house!!

We love you so much Tater tot!!