I know I haven't posted in a long time....I promise to have a lot more updates in the near future, but my hands have been kind of full these past few weeks and we are still trying to establish a routine with Tanner added to our mix!!
Many people have wondered how we are doing since the birth of Tanner?
Have emotions resurfaced about Avery, and is it hard having a little one around.....
Before I address the above questions, I have to say we have been in good company every step of this new journey and without our faith in God and our amazing support from our family and friends, we wouldn't be where we are now.
I must say from a mom's perspective, the hole in my heart will remain until I am reunited with my daughter again..but Rob and I both look at Tanner as his own individual person,
this little blessing created by God - for us!!
My heart aches the same over the loss of our daughter...no more with Tanner here and really no less...but grief comes and goes all of the time. Maybe it is the sleep deprivation, the many trips to the hospital to continue checking Tanner's bili, or seeing one of our children begin to show some signs of losing his sister...grief can be a hard thing....I have also learned that grief really wears on people emotionally...just when you think you are getting things back in line, something else comes up and WHAM hits you right where it hurts!!
My personality tends to go into "shut down" mode when I get overwhelmed with emotions, daily tasks and just life in general, but again I thank each of you for the continued prayer and support...and for putting up with me!!
One last thing, I have changed my playlist to one song again, (I know many of you don't like it when I do this) but I love this song by MercyMe, it is called "Finally Home"...
If I could change the words, I would and this is what I would say....
"Finally Home"
I'm gonna wrap my arms around Avery and tell her that I've missed her
and tell her all about the mom that I became and hope that it pleased her
there's so much I want to say there's so much I want you to know
when I finally make it home when I finally make it home
then I'll gaze upon the throne of the King frozen in my steps
and all the questions that is wore I would ask words just won't come yet
so amazed at what I've seen so much more than this old mind can hold
and the sweetest sound my ears have yet to hear voices on angels
7 comments:
Oh, girl you are a precious friend and you are covered in prayer and surrounded by many that love you and your family so much! I love the song, your Avery will be so proud of the mom that you were to her and the mom that you have become, when you meet again...heaven awaits us!!!!!
love ya
We have been thinking and praying for your family so often. I also agree that Avery would be so proud of the momma you have become! I am sure she is watching you and how sweet it will be to meet her again. Praying for peace and strength as you take it one day at a time. Thanks for sharing your heart.
Its so good to hear how you are processing all of this. God is good and I am sure he is close to getting tired of my petitions for you!! Let me know if there is anything I can do from here. There are several songs that make me think of you and that is one and the other one I heard this morning after dropping off kids is Homesick, also by Mercy Me. Music can be amazing therapy, obviously others out there understand perfectly how you feel! Oh what joy awaits us at HOME!
My screen is blurry,hmmm. I am amazed and blessed that you are able to put feelings into words so well. I love the song and the new words. I hope you know that we continue to pray for you.
We are praying for you and your family daily. We pray that God will hold you close to him and give your family strength as you go through your day to day lives. Love ya!
Heather
thanks so much for sharing what is going on. you have been in my thoughts and prayers. let me know if there is ANYTHING i can do to help. i am weeping with you over the loss of one precious gift, and rejoicing over your precious new one. you are a blessing and inspiration to so many.
Jeanie,
I just read your blog, haven't read it in a long time. I love you so much and want you to know that you continue to be on my mind and in my prayers. You are an awesome mom and a great example to us all! Praying for your comfort and for your family. The song you shared brought tears to my eyes and yes, how sweet it will be when we are FINALLY HOME. Love ya, E
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